What parent never heard a child say, “I’m bored!”? 

One September, as classes were resuming, one of my students was describing his summer as a shuttle from swimming camp to golf camp, to the next camp.  He said, “the only problem was that I had no time to be bored.”  Probing, I learned that he meant he had no time to simply be, to think his own thoughts.

Many adults believe that children have a short attention span, and must be constantly active.  “Today’s children like stimulation and fast pace,” they say.   This is not true, but rather we adults force this circumstance on them through the world we have built:  television and its intense visual and auditory stimulation, movies with their assault on the senses, cars whose radios rock the neighborhood, and computer games that reward a lightning response.

Maria Montessori (see my blog on this Italian educator) describes how she accidentally discovered children’s love of silence.  She was holding a sleeping baby in her arms, and asked if the children could be as still as the baby.  She watched in amazement as they all fell silent, such that from outside the classroom drops of water and birdsong became audible.

My student who was longing for the gift of boredom would appreciate the opportunity to be silent.  Religious people of all stripes have always valued it, and it is not the prerogative of any one religion, but is spiritual in nature.  Arranging for your children to have silence regularly is a gift, and you will see how quickly they adjust to their new-found freedom.

It is not difficult to create a silent space in classroom or home.  If you’re like many families, your house is crammed with “stuff” you could send to the recycling center.  It doesn’t take much space to make a Zen rock garden or a place to do brush painting, or set up a table decked with a piece of lace on which sits a vase of flowers, beads, candle.  Help your child go there regularly, just to be quiet, and you should do likewise, as a break from stress, or just as a regular practice.  The benefits of silence are many:  improved attention, increased calm (thus, less conflict), greater opportunity for creativity.

For greater understanding of the gifts of silence, here are some resources.  Cathleen Haskins offers articles and suggestions on her website:  www.teachingforpeace.com.  Books include John Lane‘s The Spirit of Silence: making space for creativity, and John Lane’s In Praise of Slow: how a worldwide movement is challenging the cult of speed.